Let me get this out in the open before I start- I use apple products. And not in a moderate way, oh no. I'm currently typing this on an iMac, after which I will probably go downstairs and watch a film using my Apple TV, and after that I will go to bed and update my twitter using my iPhone. All of these items I am thoroughly proud of, and I see them as amazing pieces of technology infused with brilliant stylings, but there is one thing about them that makes me slightly irate (probably the name of a new, apple, stress management tool)- the constant updating of the products.
The reason for the updates? Well, according to apple there is no problem with it; because of the classic mentality "there's only a problem if we have a solution" and then they proceed to sell you that solution, causing you to sell yourself for scientific research to afford the damned thing.
But there is a tiny part of me getting larger with every new release, doubting the moral integrity of those in Cupertino. Don't get me wrong, I love apple products, but I'm starting to think that they are creating a problem to sell you the solution.
Let us take, for example, the biggest problem of all, the Jesus phone itself: the iPhone. The original iPhone, though being heralded as a revolution in mobile phones, building a bridge between the blackberry users and the users of your run-of-the-mill nokia, had it's own fair share of problems: it's camera, it's snail-like internet speeds, it's lack of customisability, it's un-excusable lack of picture messaging and above all; it's price tag. while three out of five of these were answered with the iPhone 3G released just a year later.
This new and improved iPhone had lightning fast (well, that's at least what they were pushing) internet speeds, the indescribably vast "App Store" and was much, much cheaper. And in giving people what they ask for, you get an awful lot of cack. The App store is a prime example of this, only publicising the stupidity of the iPhone's user base (the mail on sunday publish a different "top ten" in the back of their "men"'s magazine every week, this week being the top ten iPhone applications, with the top currently being "iAlan"- an application that simply plays quotes from the Steve Coogan comedy vehicle of Alan Partridge), and it doesn't stop at there only being a few silly applications being downloaded over and over, there are hundreds and thousands of these stupid things and the people download them, Lord knows why.
There were, however, still problems with the sequel. Sure, they had fixed problems, but in a way, you could say that they've shot themselves in the foot to dislodge a bullet. The main concerns were the battery life, the coverage of the 3G network (although, that's the telephone network's fault) and there was still the lack of picture messaging and the preposterous and farcically bad camera, however the battery and the coverage were sorted by various updates by both the network and by apple, leaving apparently the perfect phone with a couple of faults.
It was the perfect phone, until that fateful day of the annual Apple WWDC (or worldwide developer's conference to you and me) on Monday the 8th of June 2009, where apple unleashed upon the world the third iteration of the iPhone: The iPhone 3GS. And what warrants that extra consonant you say? Well, in this version we are given the long awaited half-decent camera (3.0 megapixels, to be precise, not exactly impressive, but not too shoddy) with both video taking capabilities and picture messaging and they've apparently sped up to give the 3G network. And Apple didn't stop there. They've given us two more useless features: an in-built compass and voice recognition, both of which I had never wanted in my phone, nor do I. And before I go on another rant about these unnecessary features, I will restrain myself at asking why? Why did apple feel it necessary to put these into the phone? My cynical side is telling me that it's so that Apple have more features to boast about, while my idealist side has no response to this allegation, which saddens me.
But now, with the trilogy complete, is it perfect? It can never be perfect, so the obvious answer is no, but they've had a good go at it. But what amazes me is how the Communist party of the technological world has managed to captivate the entirety of the market with essentially just one product.
Me? I'm not going to buy the new iPhone. My current one is perfectly fine and I will not let my infatuation with Apple make me sacrifice my wallet and several limbs for it. I'm only going to do that for a macbook pro. But there we have it, another product, another Apple product. The one fact that is indisputable is that if everyone had macs and iPhones, we would all be much poorer people because of it. And then they'd probably say that what you've just bought is now out of date and make you buy the new one with their sanitary and irritating propaganda. It's enough to boil the blood.
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